Category Archives: Laugh

New Age terrorists develop homeopathic bomb | NewsBiscuit

New Age terrorists develop homeopathic bomb | NewsBiscuit: “The world has been placed on a heightened security alert following reports that New Age terrorists have harnessed the power of homeopathy for evil. ‘Homeopathic weapons represent a major threat to world peace,’ said President Barack Obama, ‘they might not cause any actual damage but the placebo effect could be quite devastating.’ The H2O-bomb has been developed by the radical New Age group, The Axis of Aquarius. In a taped message to the world, their leader, Professor Hubert Pennington, said: ‘For too long the New Age movement has been dismissed as a bunch of beardy weirdy cranks and charlatans. But now we have weapons-grade homeopathy and we demand to be taken seriously.’ Homeopathic bombs are comprised of 99.9% water but contain the merest trace element of explosive. The solution is then repeatedly diluted so as to leave only the memory of the explosive in the water molecules. According to the laws of homeopathy, the more that the water is diluted, the more powerful the bomb becomes. ‘It was only a matter of time before these people got hold of the material that they needed to make these bombs,’ said former UN weapons inspector, Hans Blix, ‘The world is a much more dangerous place with the advent of these Weapons of Mass Dilution.’ ‘A homeopathic attack could bring entire cities to a standstill,’ said BBC Security Correspondent, Frank Gardner, ‘Large numbers of people could easily become convinced that they have been killed and hospitals would be unable to cope with the massive influx of the ‘walking suggestible’.’ The severity of the situation has already resulted in the New Age terror threat level being raised from ‘lilac’ to the more worrisome ‘purple’ aura. Meanwhile, new security measures at airports require that all water bottles be scanned to ensure that they are not being used to smuggle the memory of an explosion on board a plane. ‘Homeopathic weapons are the ultimate Smart Bombs,’ warned President Obama, ‘They are so smart that they only affect the gullible. The only defence is for everyone to remain calm, vigilant and to always wear a magic vibrating crystal.’”

(Via .)

Greatest Golf Photo Ever – Ball at Camera

The Ryder Cup, a competition between the USA and Europe, is held ever other Autumn. Note that prior to 2001 it was held on odd years, 2001 was skipped, so now it’s held on even years.

At last weekends Ryder Cup, at the Celtic Manor in Wales, Tiger Woods hit his ball straight at Mail on Sunday photographer Mark Pain’s camera lens, enabling Pain to capture this amazing shot on his Nikon D3S camera, with a 24-70 mm lens and a shutter speed of 1/1000 of a second. See the original MailOnline article.

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Perhaps more interesting is the “Cigar Guy” in the upper right corner of the picture. The legend of Cigar Guy was born. You can see a bunch more information about Cigar Guy here.

嘲笑世界最强大国家的近视外交。。。

今天,美国的确还是世界上最强大的国家。没有其国家或联合能“单方面”(unilaterally)宣战,等等。可惜真的少数美国公民花什么时间在了解美国以外的事。。。这个问题不是新的,也不单是美国的问题,就是美国权利那么大,所以责任也更大。如果美国要继续保持超级大国身份,必须让人民更国际化。

有一些地图嘲笑普遍美国人民的地理概念。同时,这群体的税费睡支持情报局和军部干扰射界各地。

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It’s funny… 哈哈哈哈哈哈

一Q) 一匹马头朝东,尾巴朝哪里?
二Q) 爸爸是黑人,妈妈是白人,请问生出来的小孩子牙齿什么颜色?
三Q) 如果把“日”加一衡会写多少新的字?那些字?

一A) 你看过哪一匹马的尾巴是横着的? 当然是朝下面
二A) 你看过刚生出来的婴儿已经有牙齿?
三A)最少八个:白旦旧目申甲由田

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3 Chinese Jokes…

奶牛…
猫碰到奶牛,彬彬有礼的和奶牛打招呼,奶牛却取笑猫说:“你这么小就长胡子!”
  猫很生气的说:“你咪咪怎么这么大了也不戴胸罩呀!”

催情药…
三个人吹嘘自己的催情药,
A说:公兔吃了我的药让母驴怀了孕,
B说:我的药使公猴和大象生出小象,
C说:我把药掉到面锅里,面条全站起来了

袋鼠和青蛙…
袋鼠和青蛙去嫖鸡,袋鼠三下两下完事,只听隔壁的青蛙整夜一二三嘿!一二三嘿!袋鼠好羡慕。
  次日,袋鼠说:“哇!~~蛙兄,你好棒哦!”
  青蛙说:“shit,老子一夜都没跳上床!~

I’ll translate these as soon as I’ve got a second…

Beating around the bush… 怎么说呢?

Ever wonder how to call someone out when they are being indirect? There are basically two ways… When someone is just indirect, you can say that they are 迂回 yūhuí but if you really want to point out that they’re “beating about the bush” (UK English) then you would say 拐弯抹角 guǎiwānmòjiǎo…

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And how to say “call someone out”? Well, this one is extremely difficult to translate. The closest you can get is probably to “tactfully censure someone” or to 委婉指责 wěiwǎnzhǐzé. Of course, “calling someone out” is a rather masculine thing to do. Masculine would be 男性化 (nánxínghuà) or 强悍 (qiánghàn). On the other hand, feminine could be described as 娘儿 (niángr) 娘娘腔 (niángniangqiāng) 脂粉气 (zhīfěnqì).